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Tonight, on this solemn occasion, as I lift shovel and spade to turn the earth upon my rotting, putrid fleshly will, a dieing to self night… I would like to thank the mentors of my life that made this all possible.
First as it must be…The Logos…because you came, I heard, without you, there literally wouldn’t be me. Next I would like to thank Father Abraham for loving a God he couldn’t see, and giving me the model of the altar in my life that would one day be built from precious, scented, branches on a long, hot bus ride in Africa. To Moses, though you were a prince, you laid aside your palace for a sheep pen, was gutsy enough to check out the burning bush, and then argue with the sign and wonder about the call being put on your life, this would one day give me the courage to find a God I couldn’t see in a call I couldn’t understand, leaping into the darkness and finding faith. I echo the cry of your heart “show me your glory” I too am jealous to see this in my lifetime. To my dear friend Jeremiah…I feel you man! I know, I know…this fire in my bones is eating me alive….I would like to know, is it hotter next to the throne, than away from it? Isaiah, if it wasn’t for your words, I would not have a standard for my own. I hope to speak of the wounded one as eloquently as you did. David…without your songs I never would have made it when the enemy was choking me, when the darkness threatened my sanity, when life was empty and friends were few. You are my brother. Solomon, you rascal. You have told my story in the Canticles, you are reading my mail. Thank you for defining the wilderness for me, and giving me a roadmap to the other side. I sing you often in my Engedi times…your words revived a little girl dancing in the camas meadows and made my heart trust again. You showed me the Beloved, I am forever grateful. John my camel man…the spirit of the forerunner rings in my heart because you refused to take your eyes off the Son of God’s Love. I am learning your words…”I must decrease…he must increase” I would like to give a shout out to the guys in the hood, Peter, James, John….yeah you twelve…thanks for living such a transparent life…I am working on that! Finally, Paul you have wrecked me with the devotion to the body of Christ. How could you get beaten, stoned, imprisoned, laughed at, shipwrecked, and ridiculed all in the name of “the love of God” and still go back for more? To choose a scourging to stay in the synagogue in hopes that maybe one would hear the Word…I don’t love like that. I get bumped, or scorned, or ignored, and I want to turn my back, and shake the dust off…my flesh is an unruly beast that must go, if the Spirit is to control my life and actions and rule with the Agape of Christ. You pushed me over the edge Paul…your letters have become the counsel of an elder to me. Tozer, Chambers, Carmichael, Lewis, Bonhoffer….all of you… Thank you for leading me to this point. I couldn’t have done it without you.
May the flesh rest in peace.
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust,
let the love of God rule,
where neither moth nor rust,
can tarnish or quench the insatiable fire
Your face oh My God the single desire.
Thank you, and good night.